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count down problem kid [26 Jul 2006|11:07am] [ mood | grilled cheese ] [ music | geddy lee, best bass player ever ] i've been sick to my stomach all morning, because i couldn't sleep last night. that is so unlike me. then i started listening to Rush and my life immediately had purpose again. i am so fickle.

count down [26 Apr 2006|07:20pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | page of concrete ] physics are completely impossible. even when an equation is romanized from (v= vo+ at) to final velocity is equal to initial velocity plus accelaration times time, i stopped listening. last weekend was pretty good. john had his suprise birthday party, which went off without a hitch. well the cake started to melt and then sizzle because they weren't walking fast enough from the trainstation to blow out the candles. i think zoe scraped off all the melted parts, and i don't think john was planning on eating it anyway. i gave him this blackfeather dreamcatcher, it was nice. we all drank a lot that night, then john ended up on the floor and apparently aj and steph danced for hours around him. i got off at the damen stop on friday with ashley, we went to the brown elephant and stopped in american apparel looking for ryan, he may have been working at the gold coast store though. i'm not really sure. i haven't talked to him in a while, which is unfortunate. we had plans to do yoga at this center down by north, i hear it is free on sunday from 1:00 until 3:00. that would be a nice long session. keith called me at 2 in the morning on that saturday, i don't really remember what we talked about, he thought i was sleeping though. it was his girlfriend's birthday party- we had all planned on going after the thing at booster and seven, but i mean it all fell apart and the night was over. i should have called her and told her that. he is an interesting person i think. it is nice we are still friends. i should call nathan about him giving me money for my bike 7 months ago. he is a flatleaver. it is becoming decently awkward. i can barely look him in the eye. keith says he alienates himself from people like that all the time though. i don't take it personal i guess. we just really aren't friends though i enjoy his company. mark these words. we also met up with mari to go to a gallery. where we got considerably drunk and talked about nothing. the paintings there were the worst things i have ever seen in my life. a child with many diseases could have done better. i read this really indepth article on this disease called FOP, apparently you become imprisioned in a second skeleton. i'm kind of interested in this because it is horrible. FOP or Fibrodysplasia Ossificans Progressiva (Fibro-dis-playsha Os-sih-fih-cans Pro-gress-eva) means "soft connective tissue that progressively turns to bone." The earliest documented cases date back to the 17th and 18th centuries. In 1692, French physician Guy Patin met with a patient who had FOP and mentioned the encounter in his writings. In 1740, British physician John Freke of London, England, described at length to the Royal Society of Physicians an adolescent whose diagnosis included swellings throughout his torso: "Yesterday there came a boy of healthy look, and about fourteen years old, to ask of us at the Hospital, what should be done to cure him of many large Swellings on the Back, which began about Three years since, and have continued to grow as large on many Parts as a Penny-loaf, particularly on the Left Side: they arise from all the vertebrae of the Neck , and reach down to the os sacrum; they likewise arise from every Rib of his body, and joining together in all Parts of his Back, as the Ramifications of Coral do, they made, as it were, a fixed Bony Pair of Bodices." i have class in minutes.

count down stretched thin [09 Mar 2006|05:09pm] [ mood | blank ] [ music | old men ] Artist/Band: Young Neil Lyrics for Song: I Believe in You Lyrics for Album: After The Gold Rush Now that you found yourself losing your mind Are you here again? Finding that what you once thought was real Is gone, and changing? Now that you made yourself love me Do you think I can change it in a day? How can I place you above me? Am I lying to you when I say That I believe in you I believe in you. Coming to you at night I see my questions I feel my doubts Wishing that maybe in a year or two We could laugh and let it all out Now that you made yourself love me Do you think I can change it in a day? How can I place you above me? Am I lying to you when I say That I believe in you I believe in you.

count down i know i know [15 Nov 2005|01:13pm] [ mood | a ok ] [ music | edite wars ] if you didn't check the myspace. we're famous. www.thecobrasnake.com what a night at rodan. some weird blokes.

count down thoughts on another day [31 Oct 2005|01:26pm] [ mood | fencing utena ] [ music | kate bush. experiment 4 ] i don't know why flying kites is so relaxing. i think its the bright colors against the pale blue sky. a focal point on something so out of place. i had to do something this morning. my dreams last night we absolutely horrifying. i woke up in cold sweats. sleeping that hard is so dangerous, sometimes i think i won't wake up when i get so involved in a dream. dreams can seem real at times. we traveled to a place in america where the sky was upside down and clouds on the horizon were water like. it felt like a mirage, but the image was scary beyond all reason. it reminded me of being in science class. seventh grade. mr. neuman sitting behind william wheeler. we watched a steven hawkings video about expanding and contracting universes. a cup of tea hits the laminated floor with a sound of rushing liquid and screaming glass. suddenly the tea and glass revert to a whole as though nothing happened. the tea is unpoured and unmade. it would be horrible to relive what i've already lived through. im supposed to be at uni doing work for my maya class. im thinking im going to be going out with ashley in costumes. sometimes free association in my own head makes me feel insane. but if i lived or wrote out all i've thought, been, and done, it would be beautiful. i suprise myself sometimes. im more human than i thought i'd let myself be. breathing and wondering what will i do next. like an incredible book to be read.

t minus 5 /// count down in the shower today. [13 Aug 2005|12:29pm] [ mood | okay! ] [ music | television. marquee moon ] i completely figured harry potter out. he is the 7th holocrux or whatever it is. so in the end he has to die. and in the end, i just got back from the east coast and look like a jungle cat im so dark. being tan is underrated. for now i can hide in places you never knew existed. also. i turned 23.

[26 Jun 2005|12:45pm] yes but. nate is visiting three days!!!

t minus 2 /// count down this vomit bag and the price of admission will enable you to see... [26 Jun 2005|12:26pm] [ mood | dirt ] [ music | the buzzcocks. ] you have effectively become part of a couple. and somehow you have become the worst part. i shouldn't be suprised really. the amount of time we spent together, it only showed me what i thought of you was more wrong than right. i made a really bad judge of your character when i was little. i shouldn't be mad. you did suprise me again, somehow. i just called you. you always open up to me on the phone if i hold you on it for more than a few moments.

count down heartattack relapse. [26 Jun 2005|03:50am] [ mood | feast of wire ] [ music | calexico ] why do i feel the need to keep everything that has evidence that my dad is alive. i know he is alive. must i keep everything he sends me and writes down? its like he isn't alive. or that i expect him to be gone soon. i wish i didn't live like this. it was a year ago. i am over it. aren't i?

t minus 2 /// count down [19 Jun 2005|09:29pm] [ mood | apple brand items ] [ music | battles. ] i have absolutely no cred. and that's absolutely okay with me since i spent it on things i wanted to. i just wish that i had more. work has been killing me recently. after someone stole 40-50 dollars from me, them scheduling really horribly, and just working a ton. we got a present. 1 free outfit. and no price limit. it was heaven. i got these really horribly jeans that cost 70 dollars and they are fabulous. and then i got an oversized teal knit stingray dress. it is the hottest thing ever. ill be the hottest thing ever in it. if i actually can find something to wear under it. its a bit see through and really hot out these days. lots of things. school. oh no over load. late nights early mornings. dinners with friends and lots of bbq's, i love being "merican" drinking merican beer, go merica., hey marcie!!! what's up marcie?, the goldstar followed by innertown pub and rodan/nicks beer garden, four in the morning burnt popcorn, i need a bowl of something, penny staying up all night sewing, me not caring because i was drunk and didn't hear the machine at all, peach white wine, bubbltinis, rolling rock tasting like vegetables, tetris wars and girl favors. AJ and john being the best gay boys ever. and nate secretly loving john because he is from michigan too. BFF. the slwo clap ruling our lives because its the best thing ever invented, douchebags grabbing my arm and nate wanting to spit on them, perfect drinks made by brittany, imploded tofurkey dogs, driving sort of drunk, and teacher buying me a cran and voodka. he is love, murder by death amazing, voices get annoying in any genre. work long and boring again after the excitement of free clothing. im back in michigan in a week. lets go boating okay? and by the way the faint is the worst band i've ever heard in my life. they are 100 times worse than that band that covered blue monday that ashley and i saw a year ago but i forgot the name.

t minus 9 /// count down emoteless [06 Jun 2005|02:04pm] [ mood | blah ] [ music | kick the can crew. best album ever. ] old picture with old hair. i miss all my hair though. nate moved into a new flat. with a concrete lawn and a girl koji gave me japanese rap. now im a gangster.

t minus 7 /// count down chuck a chuck a chuck a chucka [02 Jun 2005|11:30am] [ mood | gut feeling good. ] [ music | Sven Libaek- shark attack ] I finished my film! i titled it "permanent fixture" and everyone i show adores it. i've gotten requests for extra dvds so they can have a copy. how romantic . seriously. im so hot right now. well my film is anyway. i thought of naming it "tom dubault- permanent fixture" but changed my mind last second. good thing too, it going to be entered in some film contests. !!! tom dubalut is a permanent fixture at the red rooster bar. he likes to drink apparently. as we rode back to the house to film the closing shots- exhausted and rushed we had a conversation and that phrase came to light. im so glad it did. i've been really busy recently. and i love it all. even thought im sure ill drop at any moment. last night i helped koji with filming until 3 in the morning. nate and i took him home and he made us these japanese drinks that could possibly be the best tasting things i've ever had. he told me he bought them at mitsua. after him suggesting it and ash (who i need to call ) a long time ago- i have to go. koji is the best. i am glad to be there for him, he told me about his mom dying last night. and invited us to go to japan for 3 weeks next summer. im going to go with nate. kate came to visit last week and pick me up. we went out to rodan. hot place. we went for bike rides. teachers society for lovers. roz came too. and we watched a lot of macgyver on tv. and listened to bowie and gackt. ate out every night. bought $1.50 boots. brent also came to visit. more bike rides. and we watched macgyver for 8 hours because i was hungover when he first showed up. museum of contemporary art. science and industy museum w/ plastic dead body display. stops at random convenience stores. chess in the park with felix. and a german. and a scot. laughing and hanging out with nicole and bill paxton. bill paxton is my favorite. gavin and takayo (his japanese girlfriend ) visited a while back. we went out to the empty bottle with koji and a few other friends. amazing dollar beers. amazing bands: prefuse 73, battles, and beans. can i take them home with me? no okay. waiting for the bus. " i hate cilantro" talking about girl hunting. watching worst movie ever. watching the best movie ever. obsession with slim jims. fashion show fashion show fashion show over. i went back to muskegon for days. saw a lot of people. and didn't get to sail. brent promises to take me next time i come home. i really want to go. 30 ft catamarrans. so hot. i heard lots of more people are coming to chicago to visit. when you do. stay with me. and i will take you drinking to all the right spots. and introduce you to all the right people. because people and places i go/know are fabulous and fab. okay? okay.

count down tell me about your moral resignation [23 May 2005|02:27pm] [ mood | mini disc ] [ music | le tigre ] my film is almost done in my head. i have to actually shoot it now. i really want this to work out. if it doesn't i think i may be artistically handicapped for some time due to this dibilitating blow. recently i've been thinking about the tattoo idea that we had such a long time ago. a heart with the words clap in it. people read into things too much, i guess that's what made it funny in the first place. but i really do just love songs with hand claps in it. ( small doses daily )

apples and oranges. [14 May 2005|10:41pm] [ music | tegan and sara ] its so likely that you might be. just like me

t minus 13 /// count down good things [08 May 2005|04:26pm] [ mood | happy ] [ music | the smiths. girl afraid ] so. i am just about as happy as i get. no. honestly i need to tell myself that i am better than satisfied. things are really great right now even with school going as bad as it is. I CAN DIG MYSELF OUT OF ANYTHING. i feel on top of the world. mum dad and david all came here for mother's day. we went to this amazing old white republican man's club and i actually had fun. fun taking photos of my brother accidentally leaning on a sculptures anatomy, eating crab legs with dad, actually getting a good gift for my mother. just got back really. im listening to genesis live. 3 sides. its brilliant. i had this dream last night that YOUR car blew up. we laughed about it. but im sure that you wouldn't really laugh about it if it happened. i love you, and i am really glad that you felt like you could share all of those things with me. its good talking when we talk like the first 4 days of us. i remember staring at your ceiling and drinking apple juice out of caps like it was some huge dare. i won by the way. you said you would come to chicago and visit on your break. i hope it works out, and you do come here. its almost been a year since the last time and your sarcasm and love for art and science is sorely missed. when i am with you learning is beautiful. i talk to you on the phone once a year. you stay at home most the time. im not sure if i know you anymore or if a friendship is even what we have anymore. i miss your innocence before things became like this. you worked for me today. we are becoming fast friends and for the first time i enjoy this. we are so comfortable with each other that we lean on each other each time we walk places. we drink together. we have the same taste in everything except about who we prefer as bfs. but you are allways my bff. hello bfs are for ! you always want to party. you always want to be doing something and you never want to sit and wait. i hate that about you. and i worry about you more than any other friend i have. you have such a good nature but i wonder if people slip out of your grasp because they see this. your lack of intimacy makes me sad. i saw a picture of you and then we became twins. i haven't talked to you in a while but when you sent me that care gift i almost cried. it had been a bad day. and you cd and taste in everything is so amazing. i wish that we lived closer together and that i could meet you real life... and have your dad adopt me so i could live in china with you! you are the most beautiful thing to me because you can enjoy everything. you never call. i rarely talk to you. things used to be so different. i thought i'd hear from you all the time. we used to hangout everyday. i am still missing you but one time you said i have this secret life i tell no one about. sometimes i wonder the same thing about you. you are a dog. you live next door. i feed you bones and i think your name might be sam. i think we have a wonderful relationship because you make me happy when i get sad and i feed you bones. you even learned how to shake. you shared with me a secret recently. i am happy for you, and happy that you are happy. i miss being next to you. YOU complete me. it did wonders to see you a few days ago. i have to visit you in your new home with your new car. you are irrational. and you bore me at this point. i want you to live with me. i want you to go to grad school here. i would take care of you. My door is wide open. and me jellies are on. i think i have to go to do laundry and buy story boarding cards. fuck bristol.

t minus 4 /// count down who needs nate. (j/k nate) [26 Apr 2005|10:05pm] [ mood | in love ] [ music | national geographic ] i bought you today at the store. I should give you a name. 30Gigs of asthetic happiness and sounding offness. take me to bed or lose me forever? definitely.

t minus 2 /// count down [08 Apr 2005|12:51am] i want to listen to mommy and daddy. i hate the metro.

t minus 4 /// count down helicopter. [31 Mar 2005|06:28pm] [ mood | bouncy ] [ music | around the world- daft mc punk ] going to see B L O C party at nine tonight. my brother came into town earlier this morning. his train was late. i wonder if amtrak ever thinks that it may have decline in sales because it is increasingly late every time. i don't like rail cars too much anymore. i'd take a streetcar anywhere. we got hungry halfway home and stopped off at sultan's market for ginger juice and falafels. half an hour + ten minutes wait we were on the 50 bus towards belmont. most of the day was spent sleeping, watching movies, and feeling under the weather. i took some meds at 6 so maybe ill feel better by the time the show comes around. okay so roz/odessa just arrived. porchwars beginning. love.

t minus 7 /// count down lomographic society international [30 Mar 2005|12:33pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | the bravery. honest mistake. ] ( COLORSPLASHdetail ) ( ACTIONSAMPLERFLASHdetail ) ( FISHEYEdetail ) don't look at me that way. sometimes browsing items online leaves me with the feeling i have when i walk around best buy- jealous, angry, and empty handed. i swear i never meant for this. i never meant....

t minus 1 /// count down oh darling its just cultural norms. [20 Mar 2005|06:40pm] [ mood | content ] [ music | mood ] maybe you and I can run a marathon someday. i'd chase after you for days.

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